Morning :) 28th, the singing performance~

Surprised that I woke up early today?

Meh, me too.
Eh, but this time, it's not because I haven't slept since the night before! (hm I just blew my cover!)
It's because...
I AM AWAKE.

Okay, it's because I slept at 7PM (Gawd) yesterday coz I just felt like so and I can't open my eyes anymore.. and I woke up at 1.11 AM, actually. Well, the next hours are me trying to get back to sleep. Well. The point is, I am now awake! I need some coffee.

No, I didn't get a coffee. Why? Because I come from a tea family and we rarely (not that rare, I go to starbucks) drink coffee. On a daily basis, I am a tea person, but I enjoy coffee at most times, too. I like that heavy smell of coffee when I walk into a room. It's super fresh and it smells better than guy's perfume. Ha ha ha. Talking about guys perfume, I hated almost everyone of them.

Back to morning discussion. Because I woke up early, I.... read the newspaper. OKAY! I admit it! I read it backwards! Well, in my defense, I like to see the movie schedules and psshh, I spotted Ryan Reynolds... (wink wink). He has just been nominated for the hottest guy alive .. <3 Oh yeah. He is undeniably cute <3 (wink again) Other than that, I just needed to see what's playing on Blitz Megaplex, the cinema, in Grand Indonesia. Planning to watch Harry Potter, and I need to know the time.

For today, this is it! The day where I'll sing in front of a LOT of people ... singing performance in Grand Indonesia, one of the high class malls in Jakarta. It's a huge, huge, huge mall. I mean, I could get lost. One minute I am in this basic mall and the next thing I know, I'm on this themed mall. Luckily, I have been there ...well let's say more than 5 times,.. ... maybe 10 times? So I kinda know a few places around. Like, where Mr. Curry is :D and where my stage is >_>

I'll be singing True Colors by Cyndi Lauper. I knew that song first from GLEE :) and then 2 weeks before singing this and changing my previous song 'Hurt' by Christina Aguilera, I decided that this is the best I could come up with, without feeling anxious and nervous about how people are going to judge me. It's .. I think that's what you call nervous ... but I'll usually be more nervous when I see the stage. This time, it's not competition, so I hope nervous won't show up!

You know, I invited friends, family and basically.. okay not basically. Some other people I know. Well, teachers from Global Jaya, my former high school. I invited a few teachers and I wonder if any of them, if they met (if they didn't click 'attending' on the facebook event but show up anyway) are gonna feel awkward? Like,
A: Hey,... how come you are here?
B: Ermmm I come to see S singing...Yourself???
A: Hmm I came to see her sing, too...did S invite you?
B: ...yes... she invited you?
A: erm.. yes..
B: Oh..............

Awkward!
I hope that wouldn't happen.

Plus, my other big worry is my dad. You know that general scenario. Basic dad, first kid is a daughter, and the daughter is 17. Classic. I mean, after or before I got in the stage, I have to talk to my friends or teacher or family, .... or all three of them. So I'm really hoping that my dad wouldn't question me, like, I just told you, basic scenario.

Dad: Hey... who are those people, did you invite them?
Me: emmm friends and teachers?
Dad: Why'd you invite them? (making that annoyed-I-don't-like-that-and-I'm-suspicious face)
Me: Ermm.. just because?
Dad: (probably nag) just because?

And he'll start to think of all the possibilities why I invited my teachers, my former teachers, ETC. Just for my worries on that, everytime the clock strikes on same number in a row (e.g. 4.44 or 1.11) I pray deep and wish deep...so that nothing would ruin this, blah blah, you know the rest. What's wrong with that? Nothing wrong, right? I mean, now that I've graduated high school, they are still teachers, my former teachers alright, but their statuses have moved from 'teachers' to 'former teacher/possibly friend' So there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, right? So, how Imma tell him that it's nothing, it's just inviting people!... Marketing myself. Eh. Maybe that works. (sigh)

So... what do I do? Like, when I get off stage, the first thing I do is talk to my parents or friends, but what about them, am I going to just ignore them or text them secretly (wtf?) I mean, they ARE guests, informally. This is an open event that anyone can watch. I'm just inviting them because I sing. So it's not really private or like invitation to watch my performance because I like you kind of thing. It's just, why don't you come to my performance, I want you to hear me sing kind of thing.

See how when we get older, our anxiety just grew more and more, according to what we know?

Wish me luck! (on singing and the reasons/excuse)