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Winter: Oh boy.

This is...bad.

Shit.. no seriously, woke up this morning coz I caught a cold. Damn those wind. Gawd. Had to put tiger balm all over my back and stomach. The real question: How the hell Imma survive WINTER!? Oh boy. Oh....boy. Wrapped heater, microwaveable sweaters/blankets?

OH BOY. Today, at about 6 AM, I woke up (out of my sister's alarm that sounded every 5 minutes) and this is a thing about my sister's room. It's always set to maximum coldness, and of course, I set them to about 25 C and low fan later on. I did. But heck, there's something in her room that always got me.

So this morning, as I type, I have been eating noodle soup, .. and going back an forth to the toilet. :\ Gawd. Is this how it's gonna be when I get there? Gawd.

A Little Update from Me: 15 Days to Go! (it's midnight now)

It's midnight, and it's 15 days to go, now. :,( I'm starting to feel the rush now.

I've got a story to tell today.

So I watched Harry Potter today. I was in a bad luck, because a couple sitting next to me was annoying. Not the girl, the guy. The guy is a cheap-skate looking guy who apparently watched Harry Potter already, so he said stuff that's gonna happen one second before. He also mimics the actors and how they say it. It was completely annoying, and I kinda just tolerated him until half of the movie. I asked the girl to keep her guy shut, and the second time, (I wished I had a shotgun) I just said, SHH! and the third time, I do a "tch" and when it was over, the girl was like, 

"Hey you were really noisy the whole time.." to the guy

Me, having a period and some veins popping out, I said, "YEAH you were SO noisy."

So we quickly left the theater and because he was sitting on the isle, I purposely bump onto him, and of course, he pushed me back. I was that close to punching him, but considering he is one of the cheap-skate Javanese that could call their companies and shoot me when I get out of the mall, I decided not to. I should've. But, this is kind of the time where I'm already going to be out of Indonesia in no time, and I want to be able to go to college in one full, healthy, piece...alive. 

Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse, I went to Sox Gallery because I knew I needed socks. So I went there, bought some things, went home, and then after I ripped off the labels, I suddenly realized: They didn't put in that checkered headbands. The receipt said I got 12 items, but I've only got 11 items. That fucking bitch even wrote down the wrong numbers, over-pricing for some stuff that I've got. I matched all the items again, and knew that one of them is over-priced. So I decided, tomorrow (today afternoon..coz it's midnight now) I'll be going there and I can't exactly sue them, so I'll just take what I can get. My mom will be coming with me to teach me how to complain at the right manners. I hope it works. I hope I get my effing cute checkered headband, because I PAID for it, and it's not about worth it or not. It's about JUSTICE. I want to get my headband and I WANT THAT PIECE OF RECEIPT to be corrected, because apparently, they tricked me. FUCKING BITCHES.

Yes, I'm complaining. No, I'm not suggesting not to buy from Sox Gallery, in fact, go ahead. their socks are nice to use, but it's the bitch that worked there that I want to punch so badly. It's going to be something like, if the complain doesn't work and the fat bitch's shift is tomorrow, 

"HEY you fat bitch. I'm on my period now. You want a piece of me? Here, eat this. *punches and scratches* Oh that's not enough? How about I cut your finger so you can't commit crime ANYMORE YOU FAT BITCH!"

About living there, I'm just... a bit... bothered on something. It's just that... I can't live without that Jet water shower thing. I clean my ass with that. At least, that's the culture that I live on and it's the cleanest, and it's one of the things I can't live without. It's like, I don't notice them, but when it's missing, it's a huge thing to miss. I can't exactly install a shower on the apartment, so do I have to suck it up and use wet tissues instead? Oh, really, that's gonna clean butt?? REALLY? EW.

EW EW EW EW. I can't stand it. I went to Singapore for a week and I am complaining and whining every single day. Why, why is it that showers aren't installed on bathrooms? I mean, it's for the sake of cleaning asses! :\ Gawd. 


so there you go.

17 Days to Go: Taking Chances

WHAT THE F? 17 DAYS??? OHGGEEEOHHGGEEEEOHGGEEEEOHEMGEEEGAWDGAWDGAWD.

Yes, that's the sound (words) of panic!

I'm really... really.. SAD!

I just felt it yesterday. You know, I've realized, that things are going to be just fine and lives will continue to have fun with or without me. In this case, without me. Things will just go on. Everyone will continue with their lives and people will be okay and be just fine without me, and there's always "It's still the same without her" because yes, sometimes I just have to suck it up because It's gonna be the same without me. World will still spin and Clouds will still float.

The world will go on without me. That's selfish. I know. I don't want to stop anyone because I'm gone. Oh I don't. How do I still live knowing that maybe one day, people will stop missing me? People will stop saying hi to me, saying "Haven't heard of you, busy?" and things will develop in two years. Two, effing, YEARS.

WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN MY BACK IN TWO EFFING YEARS?

That's right. Maybe I'm one control freak, or maybe I'm one crazy girl who can't let go, who can't accept that things are going on, with or without me. That things are bound to change, every second, let alone two years. Maybe I'm the kind of girl who wants to know what's going on in everyone's life. Why? Why do I suddenly feel this way? Maybe, again, maybe, because it's in me. Also maybe this parting and goodbye is not for me. Maybe because I'm scared. Maybe because... I don't want things to change, not where I can't see them. Maybe one day when I come back I'll freak out that some people could already forget about me, or a few people could hate me, or that a few acquaintances are dead without me notified.

How am I going to watch that, sitting there alone, let it just flash through my eyes like the movies in fast forward, by the pictures on facebook? There also could be time where I'm locked out of the pictures. I wouldn't be able to see what's happening in everyone's lives anymore..

Yes, I'm afraid of change. So is a whole lot of people out there. I see those people in the movies that's afraid of change. They don't know what's coming to them or if their decision for this change is right. The major change. The turns of their lives. The parting roads of their journey. It's happening to me. It's going to be my turn now. All those time I thought, why is a change so bad? What is it about change that made people freak? Because all this time, almost all of the changes I've had are good changes, the changes that are clear, the bright vision of what it leads me or offer me to. This time, it's almost as if I'm stepping into the end of a giant cliff. It's either stay safe, or jump to the other side of the cliff and see what's behind that thick fog. There wasn't a thick fog in front of me almost every other times. Even if there is a fog, it's not as thick. I don't even know if I'll make it alive if I jump into the fog. Even if I do make it, I don't know what's waiting for me. Is it a slow flowing river with flowerbeds and honey on trees, with bunnies hopping and Birds chirping, or is it a rapid Lava mountain with evil witch with pet Leopards crossbreeding with Crocodiles, sharp fangs and poisonous claws?

This is genuine risk taking. Of course, as everyone would say, I have a bunch of options and choices. How do I take the right one is up to me. How do I visualize what's behind that thick fog is in my mind. How I take on whatever is waiting for me is also, up to me. Maybe I don't have to take that chance. Notice the song, "Taking Chances" It is a perfectly fitted song for a whole lot of conditions, and one of them is this.

"What do you say, to taking chances?

What do you say, to jumping off the edge?

Never knowing if there's solid ground below..

or hand to hold...

or hell to pay?"

In this case, tickets have been issued. Clothes are starting to be packed in the huge suitcase. Preparations are being bought and planned. Midnight sales have been utilized (WTH?) So this is it. There are a whole lots of choices and options that I can choose for myself, but I'll take the chances. I'll take the risk. I don't know if it's for the best, but it's what I want. I want this more, more than staying here and just being in the 'comfort zone' where no other things can hurt me, but I may never get the same chance or experience and a taste of what's outside the comfort zone, or like in Madagascar 2, outside the Reserve. outside the fence that keep us all save.

and as Alex from Madagascar said, "I've been off reserve. and I survived!" or something similar than that. So there is, of course, a chance that I am going to a place where I'll never expect. Where maybe, in a lot of cases, BEYOND expectations. or...WORSE. or WORST. Lots of things can happen in two years when I finally jump off that cliff. Lots of things, too, will happen to ME when I jump off that cliff. Almost everyone will ask the same question (or similar):

"What if...?"

"What if I don't make it?" "What if I made the wrong decision?" "What if there are leopard crossbreed with crocodile ready to eat me alive when I jump?"

but I'll take the chances, and I'll start changing those negative 'What if's' to:

"What if there are flowers and blue sky there?" "What if this is a once in a lifetime, never again, beautiful opportunity?" "What if there are multiple shimmering experiences and gold waiting on the other side to be claimed?"

So there you go.

Friends, last or not?

Friends.

We all have heard that word, and almost all of us have at least one. Either that's your dog, your human friend or your... imaginary friend. :\

Do they last? Is "Friendship lasts forever" too much? Who made that stupid phrase up? Okay, it's not stupid, it just lacked a few...spices. Or maybe it is stupid.

A while ago, someone told me this,

"You know, your so-called friends that you have, Maybe, just maybe a few of them will last. You know, until the end of the world. Most of them, will be just strangers that you say hello and goodbye in 5 minutes time when you pass them at the mall or on facebook. You say happy birthday to each other, yes, I know. You think it's going to last, you think you know how to keep them your friends till the end of the world, but you don't. I'm saying this because I know so. You go and believe anything you want, but just, give it a while. You'll see what I'm talking about."

I know she might be right, but I hope she's not.

...the bad news is, she is right. No good news.

Is it always like this? People you know in High School for a year or two wouldn't last? Maybe if you know them more and you sit with them and you talk to them everyday, they will last..but for how long? You have the BFF that you talk about your crush with. You have that other so-called BFF that you don't tell about who you have a crush with, but ask if there's any homework today in science class. That's the differences. I mean, you can have a thousand friends that will go (accompany) you to the movies and/or grab a bite, tell each other what's going on, but you can only have that few, a few from all those friends, maybe just one of them, that you can rely on, trust on, and know that they are the ones that last, maybe forever. You don't know for sure, but you believe it. Soon enough, we will move on. Soon enough though, there's always a turn, a parting streets like on the fairytales where Mr. A has to travel west and Mr. B has to travel East.

All right. Maybe you hang out a lot, have a few vacations and laugh and cried...with let's say, ten people. Those ten people, there's always who are closer to who and who aren't so close to who. Say, A is closer to C and B is closer to D. A is friends with B and D, but C knows every little bit of secrets that A has. So maybe they talked and laugh with the rest of their friends. Then, the parting started. Maybe C moved to another country. So A is left with B and D. Will A still be in contact with B and D? Maybe, in some cases, they do. But, in some other cases, they don't, and A moved on.

That's what happen. Friends, do they last? Do we have to be best friends with every group we have in high school or college, or do we just let go a whole bunch of them, keep a few of them as Best Friends Forever, and then make new BFF's or friends? Are those people who you call once in a while to grab something to eat at the new cafe and accompany you to see the movies you both haven't seen worth/ can be called the friends forever?

In a group of then, will everyone of them contact each other when the 'connector' parts? The 'Connector' the person who introduces everyone to everyone else. If the connector is there, everyone will be there. Because he/she is the center. He/she is the one who connects everyone, who introduces A to J. Or D to F. What if... the connector is gone? What if they're not there anymore? Will maybe, E be left alone because he/she is not invited to any other events anymore? Will E be just another stranger that past through them?

How sad. When E already thinks that E is friends with those people, and then two weeks later, the pictures are posted in Facebook, saying, "Yesterday and the week before, at the Coffee shop." and E isn't there, even when E has the time of the world. Just because the connector isn't there. Just because E is not a best friend.

Wouldn't that break her/his heart? Then what's left for E?

A Little Update from Me: 21 days to go!

Oh shit, 21 days to go. that means 3 weeks, LESS THAN A MONTH.


Hahahha.........SO LITTLE TIME.

Just so you know, I posted a little time generator... :,( so to remind myself how much time I have left.

I want to do a few things before I leave, like I want to be able to go on a date with someone I like, I want to watch RAPUNZEL and HARRY POTTER! and I want to prepare well for my art stuff. I also want to make a sister booklet, I also would like to hang out with friends :) I'm gonna miss them all so much!

3 weeks. boohoo!

I wonder how Imma survive without maid there..

The Sims 3 Election Coverage The Last Great Debate

The Sims 3 Election Coverage Rallying the Voters

Quote from Ninjadanerz:

If I saw McCain shaking his ass on TV, I'd fall off a treadmill too. >.>

Love triangle under the Sims moon A The Sims 3 Parody